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Kinship

1/23/2014

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The Macmillan dictionary defines isolation as the state of being separated from others, or a situation where you do not have the support of other people. 
Let's remember the days before the chicken pox vaccinations. It was the end of January in 1991 when first one, then another, then two more of my children came down with this miserable childhood disease. Chicken pox has a two week incubation period. You do the math. I was separated from others for what seemed like an eternity, and most intelligent people wouldn't even drive by our house. We had to enter the pediatrician's office by the back door. Okay, this is an extreme case of isolation, but you get the idea.
Many new parents seem to think they should sequester themselves and figure out this parenting thing on their own. There is also the fear of having to care for your new baby in front of other people. A baby meltdown in public, a biting baby (this happened to me), or simply bottle feeding a baby when out and about worries parents that they will be judged in some way. I know a mom who didn't feel comfortable at a mommy support group because all the other babies were wearing cloth diapers and she and her husband use disposables! Find a different group. This one is neither supportive or confidence building.
I'm not suggesting that leaving the house with a new baby will solve all your problems. And for those depressed moms, leaving the house can be monumentally difficult. I am encouraging new moms (and dads) to seek the support of positive people, put on your best pair of stretchy pants, add some chap stick and get out there, even if it's just the Starbucks drive through.
When my second was born, I found myself home with a nosy 17 month old and a very fussy newborn. I was lonely, tired and overwhelmed. That's when I found her. That one friend who understood what it was like to survive on jello and peanut butter, who understood what exhaustion really was, who didn't expect me to be a perfect parent, and who was happy to sit on my couch and just watch our kids make a mess. It wasn't a fancy outing, and we wore the same mom jeans and Reebok tennis shoes every day, but we now look back on that time with wonder and longing. 

Happy Parenting,
Susan













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Curiosity Didn't Kill The Cat

1/13/2014

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Picture
My oldest son, pictured here at his graduation for his Masters degree, is the most curious person I know. As you can see, he has successfully survived his curious life, hence the title of my blog.
While his curiosity hasn't killed the cat (him), it has come close to killing the cat's mother (me). Jumping from precarious heights, wondering how close he could get to his sisters head with a rock, moving out of the country alone with no plan for lodging, are all things that made his mommy cringe.
Newborns can only see 8 to 15 inches. In 5 short months, they can be sitting up on their own and rolling to get where they want to be. In the next 7 months (and for the rest of their lives), they explore and discover the world beyond their reach. It is a wild ride for them and can be exciting and yet terrifying for parents to watch. Just like that the days of baby being happy to be on your lap are gone. Instead, baby prefers to cross the great divide of your family room to chew on an electrical cord or play with a stray crumb on the floor. Heavy sigh.
The big cat pictured here loved to get dirty. It was a hard thing for me at first, he looked so adorable in his clean clothes. However, his Dad gently reminded me, how can he learn about dirt without getting dirty? 

Happy Parenting,
Susan







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Darkness

1/1/2014

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I know, the title of this blog seems depressing as we begin a brand new year. Hang with me here, I have some important things to say.
When I started Nurturing Newborns, LLC, I was naive about many things. Operating a small business, the cost of marketing, the connection I would feel with my clients, and the joy I feel as I watch parents and babies bond to name a few. I was most naive about the depression and anxiety that some moms and even some dads feel following the birth of their baby. 
Postpartum depression (PPD) is a debilitating mental illness and can affect 9-16% of new moms. Women who have a history of depression are more prone to PPD. The combination of therapy and medication seems to be most effective in the treatment of PPD. It is crucial that parents are screened for this illness at the first sign of a disturbance in mood.
In my work with families of fussy, sleep deprived babies and parents, I see my fair share of depressed parents, mostly moms. While I have no New Year's Resolutions, I am determined to learn more about this illness in 2014 and my goal is to support these families that struggle to enjoy their new baby while battling a mental illness.
If you know someone with a new baby, don't hesitate to talk about the risk of PPD. Parents, support each other and don't be afraid or ashamed to reach out for help, PPD can get worse if not treated. And remember, there is hope for those in the darkness of postpartum depression.

Happy Parenting,
Susan
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    Susan Huebner

    Owner of Nurturing Newborns.

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